Mare's Mess

The first time I read “The Three Minute Abortion Debate” it was a little uncomfortable because at one time I was the insufferable liberal. And yes, I did sound that stupid when arguing about abortion with someone. You can’t really blame me. There is no logical conclusion to the pro abortion argument. That’s why “pro choicers” end up dancing around the subject by bringing up how “pro lifers” care more about unborn kids than born ones and how “pro lifers” are such hypocrites. These things may or may not be true, but they are simply diversions from the real issue -- why is it OK to kill a baby?

Let me offer some examples of the brilliantly illogical things you hear from pro abortionists:

“It’s just a clump of cells”

So are you, can I kill you?

“What about all the poor women who will die as a result of unsafe and unclean back alley abortions?”

What about all the poor boys and girls who die as a result of “safe and clean” abortions and end up in back alley trash cans every day? At least if a woman has an illegal back alley abortion, that’s her choice. The boys and girls have no choice in the matter. I thought you liked choice! Unfortunately, the choice to kill someone who’s existence we find annoying isn’t one of the freedoms we have in this country.

“It is possible that a fetus is unable to perceive pain at any time during pregnancy.”

Can I drug you until you’re unable to feel any pain and then kill you? Why not? It’s probably painless.

“Children who are unplanned are more likely to be abused, and children born unwanted face increased risks of poor health, poverty and neglect.”

I have one word for you – adoption! If you don’t want the kid – for goodness sake, give it to someone who is dying to have one. As Bruce Bethke said, there is no such thing as an unwanted child in America today. There are people waiting in line for years to adopt. And it’s amazing how many are willing to take drug addicted babies, babies with major health problems and babies of any race. Most adoptive parents are willing to pay all the medical expenses incurred by the birthmother and many will compensate for wages missed while carrying the child.

But, let’s say adoption wasn’t an option. Is death really a better fate than possible abuse, poor health, poverty and neglect? If so, let’s round up all the abused, sick, poor, and neglected kids today and put them out of their misery. We can give them drugs so it will be painless!

I’m sure I’ll think of more ridiculous abortion utterances, and maybe I’ll add them when I do. If I’ve insulted you, I’m truly sorry because I can totally relate to your groundless sense of righteous indignation. But maybe I’ve made a dent in the indoctrination you’ve suffered. It took people like me to finally pull my insufferable self out of the fog, and I’m glad to provide that same service for others.

Don't hold your breath, but I think 20/20 is actually going to do the story about international adoption tonight. The story is on their website now and it was shown in a preview too. No more buzz on the lists about it yet so I'll have to wait and see it.

The Tivo is set and all systems are go.

Got the latest on one of my adoption lists. The 20/20 segment on international adoption has been moved to March 18th (sure it has). It was originally going to be a 20 minute segment but now the entire hour will be devoted to the story on the 18th. Makes me even more anxious to see it.


We got home from our birthday celebration early enough tonight that I could have watched it on TV. I started to walk over to the TV to turn it on and remembered that I gave up TV for lent. I swear, I had not forgotten before this. I'm not sure how I intended to watch the tape once I got it. At least now I'll only have to wait a week after it airs before I can watch it.

For anyone interested, the 20/20 episode I talked about in an earlier post is supposed to be airing tonight but when I checked the 20/20 website it wasn't listed, so we'll see. The buzz on the international adoption(IA) lists is that IA is shown in a pretty bad light. I'm anxious to see it. I'll be helping my mother-in-law celebrate her (mumble mumble)th birthday tonight, so my good bud Sara will Tivo it for me. If I have any thoughts, I'll post them after viewing it.

Seems my blog on international adoption was a timely one. On the International Adoption News website this month there is an article about ethics in international adoption. You might recall that I noted in my blog an agency which was highly respected was brought down because of fraudulent practices (this, by the way, was the same agency Angelina Jolie used for her adoption from Cambodia). The owner, Lauryn Galindo, was sentenced to 18 mos in prison followed by 3 years of probation. There was a 14 year old girl who testified against Ms. Galindo. She was old enough at the time she was taken to remember her birthfamily and being taken from them. She was adopted by an American and was able to explain to her adoptive family what had happened after she learned enough English. This family recently made a trip back to Cambodia to reunite with her birthfamily and 20/20 followed along. They will be airing the episode later this month.

I’ve been extremely blessed by having two incredible kids who were adopted internationally. I used to be a big cheerleader for international adoption. But recently my views have begun to change. There have been quite a few contributing factors. Last year, the owners of a very well-respected adoption agency were charged with buying children from impoverished families in Cambodia and then creating fraudulent paperwork so that the U.S. government would view them as orphans and allow them to be adopted. There were also reports that this agency would send out representatives to the poorer areas of the country and convince families that they were humanitarians who would take their children to orphanages and feed them and care for them. The families were told they could come visit the children and take them back home whenever they wanted. But when families would come looking for their children, they were told that they had been adopted. This has been the most highly publicized case. I’m on several international adoption email lists and people often post links to news stories of uncovered baby buying rings in countries where international adoption is big business. Recently, in China a group who had kidnapped hundreds of babies was discovered by police and prosecuted. Since so many babies are abandoned in China (due to the one child policy), these criminals made arrangements with unethical local officials to find the "abandoned" babies in predetermined locations. Since they had been abandoned they were eligible to be adopted. There have been many similar reports from all over the world. The only motivation for crime like this is the huge amount of money generated by international adoption. U.S. citizens have not been able to adopt from Vietnam for over 2 years now because of corruption in the system. When the shutdown first happened, everyone feared that the orphanages would soon be full and overflowing. This has just not been the case by most reports. Other countries are still adopting, but the U.S. made up the lion’s share of international adoptions in Vietnam. The orphanages are definitely fuller than when Americans were still adopting, but it’s not been what would be expected considering how drastically adoptions have been cut. Interesting.


This has all caused me to become very jaded about international adoption, along with the fact that I’m aware of so many families who have been taken advantage of or lied to by agencies or their in-country representatives. Most international adoptions take place quite smoothly, but I’ve heard of horrible experiences some adoptive families have suffered. None, however, as horrible as the thought of children being ripped away from their families or families having their children taken from them.


Many people consider us a poster family for international adoption. If someone’s friend or family member is interested in adopting they are often told that they’ve got to talk to us. It’s an awkward position. People who come to me with questions about international adoption are usually people who have already been through devastating disappointments. They have then looked into domestic adoption and been discouraged by it. And now they have new hope through international adoption. How can I be so heartless as to tell them, "I got my great family through international adoption but I don’t think you should because I now have serious reservations about the social ramifications to the people of third world nations." And the kicker of it is that most children who are adopted internationally are legitimate orphans. Do I want to deny any of them a family? But, at the same time, do I want to continue to promote something that also leads to so much heartache and wrongdoing? I don’t know what the answer is, so when someone asks me about international adoption I just smile and answer their questions - but less enthusiastically than I used to.