I am Kyle's self-indulgence

For now it seems that the hubbub over Jeremiah Wright has quieted some, although I'm sure we can expect it to resurface in the general election, assuming Obama receives the Democratic nomination (here's hoping!). In case you don't know what I'm referring to, some of Barack Obama's political enemies have been making a big deal out of comments by the pastor of Obama's church. Apparently, when people can't find fault in a candidate's platform, voting record, or personal life, they will try guilt by association.

The whole thing got me thinking: if I were running for political office (God forbid) what kinds of quotes would they dig up from my church's pastors in order to cast aspersions on my character? There would certainly be a lot to choose from.

Erika and I first started attending our church because it closely supported the campus ministry we were involved in. We also liked the small, personal atmosphere of the church and its democratic approach to worship and teaching (meaning the church relies primarily on individuals' personal reading and interpretation of scripture).

The church is an evangelical Christian church in small-town Missouri, which means that about 99% of the members and 100% of the leaders are Conservative Republicans, which doesn't bother us so long as people don't preach politics as gospel truth. Mostly we get along great with these people and come away edified from Sunday services. However, with the Christian Conservative movement stepping up its activity in the last several years, there have also been a number of awkward moments at church.

When we first started attending this church the minister was a dimunitive Christian version of Jeff Foxworthy, only much more likeable. I don't want to use his real name here, so let's call him Mark. He had a good teaching style and usually preached valuable lessons for Christian living. Occasionally he would bring up current events and issues in a very vague way, but we learned to tolerate it because, like I said, this is just what it's like to be a Christian in Missouri.

There was one Sunday, though, when Mark started preaching about Galatians chapter 3. I'm sure he made several points about the passage, but the one he spent the most time on (and the one I remember most vividly) was verse 1: "You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified." I say he focused on that verse, but really it was the single word "bewitched" that he latched onto. He followed it onto a long tangent about the TV show Bewitched and how we think it's harmless entertainment, but what we're laughing at is witchcraft, which is the work of the devil. Then he started talking about the evil of Harry Potter (yes, this happened when all that silliness was going on).

I thought this was already bad enough, but then Mark began reading quotes from a newspaper story that he had read in an e-mail newsletter. There were members of the congregation tutting and shaking their heads when Mark read quotes from children like

"Hermione is my favorite, because she's smart and has a kitty," said 6-year-old Jessica Lehman of Easley, SC. "Jesus died because He was weak and stupid."

or

"I used to believe in what they taught us at Sunday School," said Ashley, conjuring up an ancient spell to summon Cerebus, the three-headed hound of hell. "But the Harry Potter books showed me that magic is real, something I can learn and use right now, and that the Bible is nothing but boring lies."

I immediately recognized these quotes from The Onion, having been a loyal reader for years. When I showed Mark that they were from a fake story in a satirical newspaper he assured me he received it from a trusted source. This source eventually admitted its mistake, and Mark was good enough to say so in the next week's sermon (although he still maintained that Harry Potter is witchcraft).

Some time later Mark left the church over a personal scandal, and we were all very upset over him leaving, especially under those circumstances. The church quickly found a replacement in a man named Michael. He was a family man and a farmer who had just recently entered ministry after attending bible college. It's very difficult for me to talk about him without bitterness. Frankly, some of his sermons made me nostalgic for Mark's quaint attacks on Harry Potter. Michael believed that there is One Truth, which is the Truth he learned in bible college. He believed all Christians must believe in that One Truth, and any deviation is heresy.

I'm not exaggerating.

One of his first sermons was about the importance of baptism. At one point he actually said these exact words: "If you don't believe baptism is necessary for salvation, then I question whether you're really a Christian." I do no believe baptism is necessary for salvation, so you can imagine what it felt like to hear him saying that on Sunday morning. That was the first time Erika and I considered leaving the church. There would be others.

Michael was pastor at our church during 2004, which was the darkest year for Christianity I have seen in my lifetime. The religious right went into overdrive trying to convince Christians to reelect George W. Bush. Some churches began to resemble political rallies and there were reports of Democrats leaving their mega-churches en masse. We saw a little of this in our small church, as on the Sunday when Michael gave a sermon on abortion (as if he needed to convince anyone there that abortion is wrong) and after the service he handed out pamphlets about each of the presidential candidates' positions on the matter.

That day was the closest Erika and I have ever come to leaving the church.

Ultimately we decided to stay, for the same reason that we endured previous offenses. We were loyal to our church and not its pastor. We started attending there because of the people and the atmosphere. During the years we had been there, we had grown to love those people even more, and we did not want to leave them. We felt that these people are what make the church, and not the man who stands on stage and talks for 45 minutes each week.

I'm very glad we stayed. Eventually Michael left over disagreements with the elders on theology, meaning that his interpretation of scripture was too narrow even for our church's very conservative leadership. We've hired a new pastor since then, and we like him pretty well. He's not perfect (no Christian pastor is) and there have been a few things he's said that I've taken issue with, but overall I think he's a good teacher. Even if he weren't Erika and I would still stay in our church because we know that being Christian doesn't mean we embrace or even accept the words of whoever happens to be preaching at the moment.