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Beverly Hills 90210 Recap - "Smashed"

It’s Monday. Bowie is still gone and my heart still hurts. 90210 has always been a wonderful escape for me so here we go. This episode is titled “Smashed.” It is the 25th episode of Season 6 and aired on March 20th, 1996.

Donna and Claire have their reservations about Tara moving in but Kelly says she needs her. Like I said before, Post-Brenda Kelly is a disaster magnet so this is no surprise.

Claire and Steve are in bed at the Casa Walsh. Steve is his usual frisky self as he makes some cheeky comments to Claire. Meanwhile it looks like Valerie dumped Ug and got a real lawyer for Colin. He tells her Colin is going to have to do time even if they make a deal but it will be at one of those mythological minimum security prisons where he can paint and it isn’t scary. Are those real? If they are, they sure don’t ever show them on Lock Up.

Kelly is still flirting with her doctor from rehab friend and invites him to join the gang for dinner. Jesus, Kelly. Tara is sporting some nice Chucks. This is back when they were affordable so it makes sense.

Brandon is using a slick Mac Powerbook and on the screen it looks like someone has scribbled all over the paint program. Weird. Val thinks it is a good idea to bring Colin over for dinner with the gang. That sounds like a fantastic idea.

Rush needs to dump off his sons again with Steve. This was one of Randy Spelling’s few acting gigs. Also, how are Randy and this other dude brothers? They don’t look alike at all and they look very similar in age. Does Rush have three sons from three different mothers? Actually, that’s super likely.

Tara and Kelly drink Claire’s orange juice. It looks like cloudy water. Come on prop guys. Kathleen Robertson is sporting some great highlights.

Colin is insistent he won’t go to prison. This all seems really harsh since he just gave a dude a ride somewhere but I guess that is the definition of Accessory. Also he had some coke on him, I guess. She pushes the party with the gang on him. Valerie, I want to like you but things like this are why sometimes you are just a cartoon villain.

There is a painting of a fork with some spaghetti on it hanging in the Casa Walsh kitchen. What the hell is that. Recently out of rehab Tara and Kelly talk about attending this wild college party. Great decision making, ladies.

Joe and David hang out in the Student Union because the writers realized they hadn’t been in any scenes yet so why not.

Colin doesn’t want to go to the party but Valerie is pushing him to go. Colin just wants to spend time with her. For once Colin is being the reasonable one.

Tara is wearing one of Kelly’s dresses and her necklace as they get ready for the party at Kelly’s suggestion. Boundaries, Kelly! Tara surprisingly is the one to think it is weird that Kelly asked Greg the doctor to the party. She also doesn’t want to be the odd one out. After a pep talk from Kelly, she comes around.

The party at Casa Walsh is bumping. You know it’s bumping because Muntz the KEG guy is there. David is making videos of frat guys playing quarters with Donna commentating for the campus TV station. That’s great television that I’m sure the CU administration would approve of. Steve lets his brothers play quarters with Muntz. Joe plays the jealous boyfriend bit with Donna as she is busy with this late night TV show thing.

Colin and Val show up and everyone seems to be cool with Val and the guy that was basically responsible for Kelly’s downfall including Brandon, most surprisingly. They run into Kelly and she also seems to be cool. She gives him a kiss and gives Valerie a death stare. Boom.

Steve’s brothers sneak some booze outside and go to town. They then start drinking people’s leftover drinks. Gross. David and Donna are still filming the party for this TV special that I am very curious about.

Doctor guy shows up. She and Kelly dance. Tara looks on with a hint of jealousy. Steve’s brother Ryan passes out on the porch. Doctor guy says he has alcohol poisoning and needs to go to the hospital. Steve doesn’t know what alcohol poisoning is because of course he doesn’t.

Valerie and Colin are back at Colin’s place and Valerie is pissed about what went down between Colin and Kelly. What the heck did she think was going to happen? Colin says he loves her. She returns the sentiment.

I would totally talk about the clothes everyone is wearing because they seem ridiculous but I don’t know anything about clothes and fashion. In 1996 I was still wearing Stussy shirts and jorts.

Steve is with his brother at the hospital. Rush is pissed. Steve is scared his brother might die. Chuck Rosin wasn’t kidding when he said the network wanted them to show the evils of underage drinking.

Doctor and Kelly kiss outside the beach house and Tara watches through the window. She crushes Kelly’s necklace and says “You bitch.” Subtle, guys.

Steve’s brother pulls through his bout with death by alcohol poisoning and Rush and Steve share a moment. Randy Spelling isn’t half bad playing a high school doofus. We end the show with Steve watching him sleep it off in his hospital room. Don’t drink, kids!

posted by | 01/13/16| 01:16:00 pm| TeeVee|

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