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Reminder To Myself That Things Are All Right

So I just turned 35. At first I didn't think it was a big deal, then I was browsing through this site and I realized that I was 21 when this blog started. That's kind of nuts. But I don't want to do another introspective what does it all mean type thing because I feel like that's what all of my blog posts have been about for the last few years. Heck, I just noticed I didn't even bother to do the annual Comic-Con schedule post in 2013 or 2014. What's up with that? I'm totally doing it this year!

What this post is all about is that right now I'm kind of freaking out and I need to remind myself that things are OK. Phil usually does that for me but he is on vacation right now and it would probably be weird if I called him with yet another Brendo freak out call. I'm sure a lot of you guys and gals would be happy to take that Brendo freak out call but it's OK. The whole point is I don't need to make that freak out call because I have this and I think I forgot how much it can sooth me to just write stuff down.

So I've been unemployed since December 7th. In 2009 I was unemployed for 9 months. We're not there yet but it sure as hell feels like it. The reason being is that unlike then when lots of people were unemployed, now things are better in theory so you only get 6 months of unemployment money. My last check was deposited this week. No more money. I am not 100% sure how I'm going to pay my bills for July but I think I have it figured out. Anyways, I need a job like yesterday and right now I am waiting to hear back on if I got one job. I have two tests this week for two different IT positions at the same school district and I have an interview at another. That's 4 jobs. Out of like hundreds I have applied for. I really need one of these to pan out. Everyone keeps telling me it's going to work out, because it always does, but what the hell is that? I guess it's because the alternative is misery and pain and that's just pointless because I've done all I can and the rest is up to forces out of my control. It's still scary and when you have a lot of free time you end up spending a lot of time staring into that abyss. I can't help it. It's there. I guess you just have to acknowledge it and keep going on with your life.

So yeah, that's what is going on job wise. Other than that I have a lot of cool shit going on and I am trying to remind myself of that. First off, Comic-Con is a little over two weeks away and Phil and I are doing our Webcomics Advocates panel. I went to my first Comic-Con panel when I was 17. It wasn't even in my realm of possibilities for that young version of me that one day I would be up on that stage, let alone be asked back again. So that is awesome. Phil and I also just funded our second Kickstarter and we're making freaking Radio BrendoMan records. Just writing that makes me squee a little. I've loved records my whole life. Phil re-instilled that passion in me when we were in college and would spend hours in the used bins at any record store we could find. Now we're making a record with our names on it. I'm super excited. We're also making a real BrendoMan All-Stars EP and another Brax book. Again, amazing.

This is all amazing and I need to remind myself of that. I am 35 years old, currently unemployed, but that doesn't say anything about me as a person. Some company bought the company I work for and I got laid off. I guess the feelings of inadequacy are coming from the fact that even after trying to better myself by taking some classes and getting a certification I haven't gotten a job yet. Who cares about that though? I shouldn't. I am trying. Besides, I am not Brendan Creecy, guy who does some type of computer work. I am Brendan Creecy, AKA BrendoMan. Writer, podcaster, creator, geek, dreamer. And that guy is doing all right.

posted by brendoman | 06/22/15| 03:51:00 pm| Thoughts and Ideas|


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